Only women bleed

On account of Mia Freedman invoking Caitlin Moran in the name of feminism every five seconds, I felt I really had better read Moran's book. It is funny indeed, and once finished perhaps I shall review it. But I probs won't, because who can be feckled? Anyway, I was laughing at this:

The blood on the sheets is depressing – not dramatic, and red, like a murder, but brown, and tedious, like an accident. It looks like I am rusty inside, and am now breaking. In an effort to avoid handwashing stains out every morning, I take to stuffing huge bundles of loo roll in my knickers, along with the useless sanitary towel, and lying very, very still all night. Sometimes, there are huge bloodclots, that look like raw liver. I presume this is the lining of my womb, coming off in inch-thick slices, and that this is just how visceral menstruation is. It all adds to a dreary sense that something terribly wrong is going on, but that it is against the rules of the game to ever mention it. Frequently, I think about all the women through history, who’ve had to deal with this ferocious bullshit with just rags and cold water.

No wonder women have been oppressed by men for so long, I think, scouring my pants with a nail-brush and coal-tar soap, in the bathroom. Getting dried blood out of cotton is a bitch. We were all too busy scrubbing to agitate for the vote until the twin-tub was invented.  - Caitlin Moran, How to be a Woman

So incredibly funny. I remember that panic over periods, which actually never really stops --  I have been thinking about menstruation about 38373 times a day recently because I still haven't had a period, over one year after the birth of my first child. WHEN WILL IT COME? WILL IT JUST RUSH OUT ALL OVER MY PANTS? DEATH DISASTER DOOOOOOOM. 

Then this morning I read this fabulous article, and was particularly delighted by this passage:

Ours is a culture where everything to do with our menstruating selves is kept secret. From the earliest age girls are taught how to ensure that it's all done secretly and odourlessly and far, far away from men. We're expected to plug it up privately and get on with the job. And when it's all over wer're supposed to carry on as always, lest anyone discover the sins and smells of our femaleness. 

Furious agreement, and I started to think - why? Why is it still a shameful secret? It is 2012. We should be wearing rocket packs and we should not feel bad about menstruating. Are the two linked?


Recently we were watching New Girl and Jess whispered to her housemate's new girlfriend, 'there are tampons hidden all over the house' and I chuckled and explained to my husband that when you have your period, you must be organised. Toilet trips are strategic, made only to the toilet stall you know has the sanitary bin, tampon/ pad hidden in your sleeve (because you can't take your bag, then everyone would know). Multiple sets of tight underpants to keep the pad close to your body. In teenage years, I felt embarrassed by the mere rustle of the pad wrapper. At the time I spelt woman like 'womyn' and I still thought periods were the worst sort of biological trap. I longed for the red tent celebration but felt too ashamed to ever mention it, even to my closest friends - I don't think I even said the word period until I was about 19. I have two sisters, I went to an all girls school, and periods were discussed only when some poor wretch had blood on the back of her skirt and probably changed schools to avoid the shame of it.

And I actually did have a PE teacher who advised me in year 9 to 'plug it up' when I tried to get out of swimming. No wonder I then went round the corner of the Tuckshop, bashed at my ankle with the handrail until it was red and then limped back to defiantly announce my injury precluded me from participating. For serious.

So anyway, I was rejoicing in reading about menstruation but I did think the article  somewhat entrenched in biological essentialism, and so I scrolled down to the comments for some academic critique:

Fucking Dale Bloom! His inane commentary is ever present on The Conversation and he is a definite contender for BaBa's inept political commentary of the week. Of course he would go the whole 'feminist conspiracy' angle - yes, a feminist did write the article - but no, his comment does not make sense. 

Thanks for keeping it real, Robert Corr. You've cracked the code. 

SIGHSIGHSIGH.

I don't really know why but it made me think of that line in Bridget Jones's Diary:

As Tom never tired of telling me, in a sepulchral voice, laying his hand on my arm and staring into my eyes with an alarming look, 'only women bleed'. 

p.s. amazing photos of women having their periods without 'plugging it up'.